Feeling numb....

I'm not expecting any miracles tomorrow with my blood work. There is really nothing I can do to change my estrogen level. I wish I had an explanation for it and a plan to get it lower. I did learn on the Internet, that Lupron can cause an initial increase in your hormone levels (including estrogen). I wonder why they didn't keep me on it longer the first time around since my level had come down to the 60's. I have so many questions. The nurse who calls me tomorrow is going to be sorry she was the one who had to call me with my results.

On the surface, I'm ok but deep down inside I feel sick to my stomach. I decorated for Christmas this weekend but had no real desire to do it. I never really cried when I found out another cycle had failed yet not being able to start an IVF cycle has reduced me to tears. How many times are we going to try this protocol and fail before the RE realizes this isn't working? That will be question number 1 tomorrow.

I can't find anything to explain what a high estrogen level may indicate other than a cyst left over from a previous cycle. Of course, the RE would be mad to learn that I'm searching the Internet for answers. I can't help myself. The need to know and have concrete answers is killing me inside!

We shall see what tomorrow brings......