We got a surprise today....

The IVF lab calls this morning at 730am to remind us of our appt. for transfer today. Needless to say my heart was in my throat when the phone rang and their name and number pops up on the caller ID. I was preparing myself for bad news. Instead, this sweet voice on the other end tells us we will be transferring 4 embryo's today. I asked her where the 4th embryo came from? Are you sure it's ours??? It seems that one of the eggs was a late bloomer and made it after all.

We arrived at 1045am and this time everyone was waiting for us! I took my Valium but it hardly kicked in and I was being wheeled into the room. The nurse and u/s tech were just fabulous. The nurse was rubbing my feet and the tech kept filling me in on what was going on in the room, etc since I can't see while I'm lying flat on the table. I get into position and my RE is inserting the speculum and Chris asks her, " Is that a Pederson?" I almost died and so did my RE who started laughing hysterically. No one's husband has ever asked her if she's using a Pederson nevermind any kind of speculum. I was proud of him for remembering. I guess he's seen me being tortured during the last 2 ET's. After we all stop laughing, I feel it going in and then she tells me, "It's in, are you ok?" I asked her, "Are you sure it's in?" Chris pipes up, " Um, I think she has a better visual field to know if it's in or not." Again, we all started laughing. I don't think my RE is ever going to forget us! I was so expecting some feelings of pain and torture especially since I'm still hurting from the ER. This time is was a breeze.

They transferred the 4 embryos. There was a 12 cell, 10 cell, 9 cell and 7 cell. They also did the assisted hatching on all of them so I'm hoping beyond hope that they stick! There was a chart in the cubicle we were waiting in and our odds of success are about 48%. We also have a 38% chance for twins. That's ok with me. Chris kept commenting about the chart and kept looking at it, especially the twins part.

I was able to meditate while lying still for 20 minutes then we were free to go. I saw my RE on the way out and she mouthed, "Good Luck". I crossed my fingers and so did she and I told her Thank You. Now we wait.

I spent the day on the couch lying low and don't plan on doing much this weekend. I need to keep myself busy for the next 2 weeks. Please say some prayers for us and send some sticky vibes so these embies settle in for a long 9 months!

The not so good fert report:(.....

Out of 11 eggs, only 6 were mature. All 6 were injected with a sperm(ICSI procedure) and only 3 fertilized. I'm shocked. I had hoped for better results than this. I suppose I should be grateful we even have 3 embies but my heart feels heavy and I feel sick to my stomach. I was so sure my weight loss and change in eating habits would improve our fertilization rate. Guess not.

I can't seem to stop sobbing over this. Chris is forever the optimist. I know all we need is one but it's hard to believe that after failing 2 previous IVF cycles, this one will be different. I'm not completely giving up on this cycle, but I'm finding it hard to be as positive as I was. Thank God I was off today and not at work. I would of had to leave early. I really wanted to put 4 embies back this time.

I asked the nurse about Assisted Hatching and she was going to mention it today at the IVF meeting this afternoon. My RE is on Friday when we will go for the ET providing our embies make it that far. I will ask her again about AH. It seems our track record makes us good candidates for it.

Please say some prayers and send some +++vibes to our 3 fighters in the lab. On a positive note, our embies have made it to day 3 without any issues in the past. The ones that fertilized had enough gusto to continue growing until transfer. One from the last cycle exceeded them all and made it to the freezer. Looks like that "frostie" will be hanging out in the freezer alone for a little longer.

ER update...

I'm happy to report that this ER went smoothly and we got 11 eggs!!! The RE was expecting 10 and I was happy to hear he found one extra in the bunch. I had a wonderful anesthesiologist who premedicated me before going into the OR. I can't say enough about Versed. What a wonderful happy feeling:). I was awake and ready to go home by 930am. I'm a little sore today and anxiously awaiting the phone to ring to find out how many of our eggs fertilized. This is the first time I'm feeling anxious!!!

I felt no nervousness yesterday at all. I was surprised how relaxed I felt although my BP was 140/84, a little on the high side. Once I get the call I will post again. Fingers are crossed for more good news!

Trigger tonight!

Once again, I've made it to trigger day! I still have the 8 follies on the left ovary and 2 on the right. The left range from 21-15mm, most of them were around 17-19mm. The 2 on the right are only 15mm but they have time to catch up if they keep growing at 2mm per day. I will inject the HCG shot at 730pm tonight and we have to arrive at the hospital on Tuesday morning at 630am. My RE will not be doing this ER but she is on Friday if that turns out to be ET day.

I'm still remaining positive that this cycle will be different....in a good way! No bleeding, better eggs, good embryos and of course, obtaining and maintaining a pregnancy. It's easy to be positive in this stage...it gets harder during the 2ww. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

Slow growing....

This cycle is definitely going differently than the past 2. I was a little upset about this since I was expecting my body to respond just as it has before and then realized I didn't get pg with either of the last 2 cycles so maybe this isn't such a bad thing. I went Friday for an u/s and E2 level and they found 7 follies on the right that were 10mm-13mm and about 8 follies on the left, 13-15mm each. My E2 was 397 which I thought was too low. I went today and now I have 2 follies on the right that are about 15mm and 8 follies on the left 15-17mm. My E2 is 672. The nurse and tech told me this is how a good cycle should happen. Apparently my overzealous ovaries were on warp speed for the past 2 IVF cycles and maybe that's why our embryo's didn't make it past day 5. I am so hoping for excellent results this time. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot control any of this. I am going for another u/s and b/w tom'w and won't be upset if they want me to stim again and come back on Monday morning. Thank goodness work has been flexible with me. I try not to make any waves and rarely call out.

My weight has stayed the same this past week. I think it may be from the medications. Today I am feeling my left ovary and by the end of the day I am dead tired. Plus I haven't exercised all week. I have been meditating and find it has helped a lot this time. I don't have another massage until 8/16 but that's ok. I don't think I want to lie on my stomach for any length of time right now. We will see what tomorrow brings.

The scale is my friend!

I just finished my first night of injections and things went smoothly. I used Gonal-F instead of Follistim. The office gave me the Gonal-F and it expires before my Follistims so I'm using it up first. No burn with this med. They also told me not to premix the Menopur with saline, just add the Lupron to the Menopur then the Gonal-F. I bet it's the saline you mix the Menopur powder with that causes all the pain. Good to know. I also got on the scale today and was down another 1 1/2lbs! For some reason my weight loss shows on Sunday and not Saturday. I moved my weigh in day so many times in the beginning I don't remember what day of the week I actually started eating right. I'm officially 23.5lbs lighter!

My family room is now covered with 200lbs of self leveling concrete.....only it's not level. The humongoid cracks in the concrete slab are beyond self leveling concrete. I told Chris we are going to put the floating wood flooring down regardless. For now I have 2 sofas in the kitchen and my island is in the dining room. I had hoped to clean the house really well this weekend so I can take it easy next weekend with the hope that ER will be next Sunday. Guess again!

That's it for now. Just wanted to brag about the scale thing!

Green light!

I had my baseline u/s and b/w today and I am starting stims tomorrow night! My E2 was 22! I'm happy to see such a low number but it's sort of scary considering how high they have been in past cycles. I can't help but wonder if my body crossed over into Menopause-land. I keep pushing that thought away. I guess there's no way to know till Friday when I go for the next u/s. I am going to take the same dose of meds I used for the last cycle and I was ready for ER after 5 nights of stims last time so I'm secretly hoping my ER will be next Sunday. The nurse mentioned possibly doing Assisted Hatching(AH) this cycle. AH is when they drill a small hole into the shell of the embryo which hopefully will aid in the hatching process that occurs just before implantation. I'd like to try it. It can't hurt at this point in the game. Plus it seems like I react well to the meds and the embryos fertilize. It's the implantation process that seems to have issues.

Chris and I ripped out the carpet in the family room today and we are patiently trying to get the adhesive scraped off the floor. We were all set to put a prefinished hardwood floor down in there but the guy at Home Depot got us interested in a Vinyl self stick flooring that comes in wood or tile styles. Might be a better idea since this floor is a high traffic area and may see it's share of water in the future.

Zoey still lives in our home. She's still peeing near the door when she can but I put some wee wee pads there so it's easier to clean up. Chris doesn't want to put her down. I told him I was ok with it but he would have to bring her to the shelter. I can't do the deed. And I can't stop her from peeing where she wants. The food bowl trick isn't working.

I managed to lose a 1/2lb this past week. That brings the total to 22lbs so far. I haven't been completely on plan so I'm not surprised. I'm cutting out the workouts or if I do go on the treadmill I'm going to walk at a slower pace without any incline. I am going to work on no stress and total body relaxation this week. I have another massage on Wednesday after work. Can't wait since everything in my body is screaming in pain right now from scraping that crap off the floor!

Started lupron...

I started Lupron shots on Thursday night and so far no headaches. Yay. I managed to lose 1 lb since last Saturday which is great considering all the candy and eating off plan I did all week. I'll take it. I'm trying to remain stress free but that's become rather difficult since Chris and I have been fighting over my cat Zoey. She keeps peeing by the door in the family room. I believe the only reason she is doing this is because all the other cats chase her around the house including when she's making an attempt to use a cat box upstairs or in the basement. Chris wants her gone. I agree we can't keep a cat that keeps peeing in the house but my heart is broken over having to say good-bye to her. Chris wants to let her out and let her be an outdoor cat. I don't think a 14 yo indoor cat can suddenly transform into an outdoor cat. And if I'm heading to work one morning and find her dead in the road I'll lose it. I so wish I knew someone who would take her. I truly believe that she deserves a second chance and if she was the only cat in a home, she would be fine. Ugh. I love animals but hate when it's their time to go. I get way too attached to them. I hope this issue has an ending soon because I don't want to be going through this torture just before ER and ET.