Heartbeat

We finally heard the baby's heartbeat with our home doppler on Friday, the day after Christmas! I was able to hear it again today as well. It's still going strong in the 150's. It's a nice relief to be able to hear it for reassurance. Tomorrow I will be officially 13 weeks. I am entering into the 2nd trimester. I hope this fatigue eases up soon. It's with me all day now. I started exercising a little bit today on the treadmill. I read that can help give you some energy and I feel like I need to do something since I've overindulged this past week between Christmas cookies and candy. It's been a non stop eating fest at work and home. I don't want to gain too much weight before my next OB appointment or else I fear hearing a lecture. I'm hoping for a slow and steady gain over the next 6 months.

1st OB appointment....

My long awaited appointment brought about some worry and mild panic when my OB couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler. She wasn't overly concerned and told me she would send me for an ultrasound today if I didn't already have one scheduled for tomorrow's 1st trimester screening test. She then offered to send me for one anyway and it turned out they could do our 1st trimester screening today too. So I called Chris and away we went.

And there was our little one, jumping around (maybe from the bean burrito I had for lunch) and s/he had the hiccups! Very cool. S/he was looking right at us at one point. We passed the NT u/s test and have to wait for the blood test results to come back. We got a picture which I'll post on here when I get a chance and some energy. I am still so tired and I think the little bit of worry I had today took the wind out of my sails. Plus I came home and cleaned the bathroom tonight. I also just worked 7 days in a row. Now I'm off for 4 days and have lots to do to get ready for Christmas. Can't believe it's only a week away!

It was really great seeing my OB and FINALLY getting that long awaited OB physical. I never thought I would ever need one of those! My next appointment will be 1/14. At least I know if she can't find the hb, an u/s will be scheduled immediately. Plus I'll be in the main office for my next appt. so if there is a problem I will be able to have an u/s quickly. I wish I could hear the hb on my doppler but I guess I'll just have to be patient for now.

Last U/S with RE....

It was a bittersweet day but a happy one at least. Today was our last visit with the RE and we said our good-byes. But not before we got to see our LO squirming around in there, kicking and punching! HB was 171 and as you can see s/he is much bigger! It's amazing to think how much s/he has grown in less than 2 weeks. No wonder I'm exhausted!





Now I wait till the 10th to meet with the OB nurse and go through my history. My physical with the OB is on the 17th. I need to prepare myself for less visits and fewer U/S's. It's so reassuring to see him/her every few weeks. I did buy a fetal doppler on ebay and can't wait to get it to see if I can find the HB and hear it. That will at least bide me over between OB visits.

And....did you notice how similar the U/S's match the growing baby in the Ticker Widget?????

FINALLY!!!!!!!!

Ok...so we did IVF#4 under the radar. I didn't post about it and decided to not think about it. With the help of acupuncture, I did just that. And.....WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got 10 eggs this cycle, 6 being mature. Only 2 fertilized. Our worst fert ever. Luckily, both embryo's were top grade A's, an 8-cell and a 10-cell. We did a 3 day transfer and the wait began. I also used acupuncture this time and I truly believe it helped a lot. I was very relaxed this cycle and didn't obsess over the medications, testing, etc.

I did some early POAS to see when the trigger shot was out of my system. It took about a week after transfer to finally see one line only on the sticks. About 5 days before my b/w I POAS when I got home from work and it was negative. The next morning, I did another and couldn't believe I was seeing a faint 2nd line. By the time I was ready to leave for work, I was positive I was seeing 2 lines!!!! I was home alone as Chris was away for work. I repeated a test that night and the line was darker so I was sure I was pg!

My first beta came back at 92. I went for a repeat 2 days later and it doubled to 188. I cannot tell you how stressful it was waiting between these blood tests! This has been the worst wait EVER and we have done a lot of waiting over the years! I wasn't feeling great which turns out to be normal from the enlarged ovaries and fluid in the belly from the IVF meds. The next beta was 357 which wasn't quite a double and caused a lot of stress till a repeat 4 days later came back at 1802!

I had my first U/S scheduled for 11/13. On 11/7, I saw bright red blood and a clot and literally freaked out. My knees were weak. I was so sure it was over. I went to work and waited for my RE to call. They called right when they got in to the office at 9am and told me to come for an u/s. They said they would be able to tell if I was having a miscarriage. I lost it. My friend at work had to take me on the shuttle to the RE's office for my scan. Thankfully, I saw the pregnancy sac and the yolk sac forming. I had very little bleeding the rest of the day and tried to stay hopeful. They said it looked promising but they couldn't say for sure it wasn't the beginning of the end.

On 11/12, I'm heading into work and feel this gush. WARNING, this is going to be TMI. I kept feeling gushes and realized as I was on the shuttle bus to work that it felt like I had AF. Sure enough, by the time I get to ladies room, I've got bright red blood and huge clots everywhere, down my legs, into my shoes! My heart sank. I knew it was over. I was numb. I got back to my office and broke down. My coworkers went into action. I managed to call the RE and Chris and headed over to the office. I was relieved when Chris came flying into the exam room before they came to do the u/s.

The nurse and the U/S tech came in and thought it was over too when they saw my legs. They had dried blood all the way down them. I still didn't realize this. The probe went in and the tech stopped and said, "Becky...you are still pg, the sac is still there." Chris is holding my hand and I'm hanging on for dear life to him. She magnifies the sac and there 's this little white blob and it's beating! It has a heartbeat! I was stunned. Chris was crying. It was amazing and crazy at the same time! I asked where all this blood came from and they said they had no idea but my uterus had no more in it. It's not uncommon for IVF patient's to have some bleeding but this was more than "some bleeding". We left there shellshocked. I went home to collapse in the recliner. I had some cramps and light bleeding all day. I stayed home the next day because I was expecting to see more blood but very little happened and I actually felt good the next day.

I've seen some light bleeding since and had some light cramps but nothing to panic over. I got nervous this week because my symptoms had suddenly stopped on Tuesday. My boobs don't hurt as much, haven't felt the bloating like I was. I went for my 2nd U/S on Wed. 11/19 and this time I could see the white blob before she magnified the U/S! And I got to see the heartbeat again! What sweet relief! Chris is in San Fran till next Wednesday so I scanned the pic above and sent it to him.

I'm feeling more positive now that I've seen the hb twice. I know it's early and something dreadful could happen but I'm trying to remain positive right now and BELIEVE this will happen and bring us a happy ending.

Thank you to all who have supported us and prayed for us. Please send some happy, positive, growing thoughts to our little one!

It's over...

We failed IVF#3. Not sure what to think right now. Plan to meet with the RE at the end of the month and ask a few questions that I'm sure have no answers but what the heck. Taking a break for a while and will try again in the future.

Feeling blue....

I was doing well, feeling very positive that this time it worked. Now I'm feeling so let down and I'm sure it's another failed cycle. I POAS when I got home from work yesterday and one line. I also did another this morning and again, one line. I so hate this. I know it could be a little early but WTF? I see plenty of other ladies on the RESOLVE BB testing early and getting 2 lines, even if one of them is faint and they're pg. I thought I was having mild cramps all week but now I'm thinking it was just my intestines. It's not always easy for me to dicipher one area from the other especially after an ER and swollen ovaries.

I have a horrible headache today and I need to pull myself together to go to the grocery store. Don't worry, I'll be buying more sticks. I am a true addict and can't help myself.

We got a surprise today....

The IVF lab calls this morning at 730am to remind us of our appt. for transfer today. Needless to say my heart was in my throat when the phone rang and their name and number pops up on the caller ID. I was preparing myself for bad news. Instead, this sweet voice on the other end tells us we will be transferring 4 embryo's today. I asked her where the 4th embryo came from? Are you sure it's ours??? It seems that one of the eggs was a late bloomer and made it after all.

We arrived at 1045am and this time everyone was waiting for us! I took my Valium but it hardly kicked in and I was being wheeled into the room. The nurse and u/s tech were just fabulous. The nurse was rubbing my feet and the tech kept filling me in on what was going on in the room, etc since I can't see while I'm lying flat on the table. I get into position and my RE is inserting the speculum and Chris asks her, " Is that a Pederson?" I almost died and so did my RE who started laughing hysterically. No one's husband has ever asked her if she's using a Pederson nevermind any kind of speculum. I was proud of him for remembering. I guess he's seen me being tortured during the last 2 ET's. After we all stop laughing, I feel it going in and then she tells me, "It's in, are you ok?" I asked her, "Are you sure it's in?" Chris pipes up, " Um, I think she has a better visual field to know if it's in or not." Again, we all started laughing. I don't think my RE is ever going to forget us! I was so expecting some feelings of pain and torture especially since I'm still hurting from the ER. This time is was a breeze.

They transferred the 4 embryos. There was a 12 cell, 10 cell, 9 cell and 7 cell. They also did the assisted hatching on all of them so I'm hoping beyond hope that they stick! There was a chart in the cubicle we were waiting in and our odds of success are about 48%. We also have a 38% chance for twins. That's ok with me. Chris kept commenting about the chart and kept looking at it, especially the twins part.

I was able to meditate while lying still for 20 minutes then we were free to go. I saw my RE on the way out and she mouthed, "Good Luck". I crossed my fingers and so did she and I told her Thank You. Now we wait.

I spent the day on the couch lying low and don't plan on doing much this weekend. I need to keep myself busy for the next 2 weeks. Please say some prayers for us and send some sticky vibes so these embies settle in for a long 9 months!